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Esmeralda's Dream Endnotes
By Susan Huetteman

Note to the reader: Endnotes is presented in three annotated sections.

I. Esmeralda Santiago's Family

A. Parents

    Esmeralda's Parents
    Doña Ramona Santiago-mother
    Don Pablo Santiago-father

    Esmeralda's Siblings
     Born in Puerto Rico:
    Doña Ramona with Don Papi Pablo:
    Esmeralda, Delsa, Norma, Héctor, Alicia, Edna, and Raymond

    Don Papi Pablo with Doña Provi: Margie (half-sister)

    Born in New York:
    Doña Ramona with Don Francisco: Franky
    Doña Ramona with Don Carlos: Charlie, Cibi, and Ciro

    Mami. Doña Ramona's Family
    Tata-Doña Ramona's mother. Tata's boyfriend-Don Julio

    Tío Chico-Tata's brother. Tío Chico's sons-Paco "El Santo" and Jalisco. Rita is his friend

    Don Lólin-married to Toñito (daughter of Tío Pedro in Puerto Rico who is married to Titi Sarah)
    Tía Chía-Tata's sister and her daughters: Margot, Gury, and La Muda
    Tía Ana-Tata's sister and her daughters: Alma and Corazón

    Papi. Don Pablo's Family in Bayamón
     Abuleo Don Higinio and Abulea Doña Magara
    Don Bartolo-Don Pablo's brother
    Doña Generosa-Don Pablo's sister
    Jenny-Don Pablo's niece; parents-Tío Cándído and Doña Meri.

B. Apartments in New York

    1. Mami Santiago moved her family into a Brooklyn apartment on McKibban Street, living with her mother, Tata, and uncle, Tío Chico. The crowded family life is described in Santiago's When I Was Puerto Rican, pp.215-222 and in Almost a Woman, pp.4-6.

    2. The second apartment on Varet Street was located on the "other side" of the projects. The new location permitted the remainder of Mami's children to move to New York. Described in When I Was Puerto Rican, pp.220-222 and Almost a Woman, pp.6-7.

    3. Tata soon joined them in the cold apartment and its invincible cockroaches.

    4. In a secretive move from Tata, the next apartment was down the street to two rooms in front of a bottling company. Francisco, nearly ten years younger than Mami, soon joined them. Described in When I Was Puerto Rican, p.238 and Almost a Woman, pp.32-33.

    5. When Francisco developed cancer, they moved down the street into three rooms and Tata joined them. Described in Almost a Woman, p.34. Then they moved to the apartment next door. Described in When I Was Puerto Rican, p.244. Another move was mandated, because there were too many people living together.

    6. By the time Esmeralda was in ninth grade, they moved for the fifth time in one year. The next apartment on Ellery Street was pivotal in her life. She attended Junior High School #33, where Mr. Barone was her counselor. Described in When I Was Puerto Rican, pp.244, 258 and Almost a Woman, p.34.

    7. The next summer they moved to an apartment on Pitkin Avenue near Rockaway Boulevard. Described in When I Was Puerto Rican, p.259 and Almost a Woman, p.60.

    8. There was more privacy on the second floor of a two story home where Tata's boyfriend would join them. Esmeralda would claim the end of the hallway for privacy--she was "casa señorita" almost a woman. Described in Almost a Woman, p.119.

    9. Although they shared bedrooms, they felt "rich" when they moved into a single-family house on Stanhope Street near Flushing Avenue. There Esmeralda became friends with her cousin Alma and they dreamed of having their own apartment. Described in Almost a Woman, pp.138, 159.

    10. Finally the family moved to a house on Fulton Street in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn. Mami owned the home and Titi Ana rented an apartment in the house. Now cousins Alma and Corazón lived with them. Described in Almost a Woman, p.267.

II. Traditions in Santiago's works

A. Food is a prominent in Puerto Rican writings, not only because of its scarcity in face of poverty, but also because of the abundant flavors and the joyful family experiences the family meal provided.(SH)

    Almost a Woman, Santiago's second memoir. Food described: Puerto Rican food compared to American, p.24; food; shopping, pp.61-3; Tío Chico's rooster stew, p.92; Uri's food, p.293.

    "El hombre que amo," Santiago's memoir in progress: "I'd never been in a kitchen alone," p.151-

    América's Dream, a novel by Santiago. América cooks for her employer's children saying,

    "Puerto Rican food healthy. Rice and beans. You see, I make for you." Food described: pp.176-178, 187, 233, 270.

    "Childhood in a Puerto Rican Barrio," Santiago's article in "The Christian Science Monitor" by Santiago, April 5, 1989, pp.1-2. Detailed descriptions of edible food: plantains, bananas, sweet potatoes, avocado and mano, that grew around the house in Macún. "Whatever grew wild that was edible sustained us, for neither my father nor mother were farmers."

    Las Mamis edited by Santiago and Davidow. Food described in Santiago's "First Born," New York bread p.12; Firmat's "Mami's Boy," "Nochebuena" meal, p.83; Gilb's "Mi Mommy," deer meat, p.147, and Agosín's, "Frida, Friduca, Mami," smells of food in yard, p.180.

    "When Mami Left, I Didn't," a short story in by Santiago in "Sojourner: The Women's Forum," March 31, 1990, p.15. Santiago, describes Ana's attempts to manage the household for her father and brothers when her mother leaves. "I'd make him chicken "asopao" [soup] to settle his stomach." She missed Mami's odors of oregano and garlic. "When Mami left, I cooked by remembering the smells of the kitchen."

    When I Was Puerto Rican, Santiago's first memoir, opens with the images of guava in "Prologue: How To Eat A Guava." Food described on pp. 1, 3-4, 29, 41-2, 47, 74, 90, 109, 115, 140, 146-7, 160, 165-168, 179-80, 185, 193; "morcillas", 43, 48; "asopao," a soup using the unhatched eggs tastes like egg yolks and liver; Mami added oregano and garlic; tamarind syrup on snow, p.236; Mami's barter, p.159; parents' business, 193; airline food, p.214; and American food 74, 81, 95-6, 109, 159, 161; Evangelical food, 165-8; New York food, p.215.

    Spanish Dictionaries, such as compiled by Castillo, Bond, and Garcia define Puerto Rican foods: tripe stew, "tripa," uses the intestine, bowel, and entrails, p.214; "morcilla" is a blood pudding or blood sausage, p.141. By reading labels on cans and information cards in the grocery store, you can learn about Spanish cooking, such as blacken beans are pigeon peas, a red swollen fruit, roasted in the "fogón" (grille or hearth).

    Recipes are presented in Las Christmas.

B. Holidays are an important part of Puerto Rican family life. Christmas observation begins early December, with gift giving on Christmas Eve, and ending with the celebration of Three Kings Day on January 6. The night before Three Kings Day, children place grass in a box for the Wise Men's camels and they look forward to receiving a small gift the next morning. There is a wonderful tradition of caroling accompanied by instruments. Carolers go from home to home and are welcomed with food and drink. In town squares a stand is erected for spontaneous performances by villagers. Fiesta and public celebrations are an integral part of the Puerto Rican experience.(SH)

    Las Christmas, co-edited by Santiago and Davidow, contains memories, traditions, and recipes for the holiday season and include Latino favorites: fried plantains, p.10, rice and beans, p.31, Yucca in garlic sauce, p.69, "Arroz con Coco "pudding, p.92, Coconut Flan, p.147, the traditional Christmas roasted Pork, p.167, and the Puerto Rican staple, "Asopao", p.159. The extended Christmas traditions that end on Three Kings Day and Hanukkah observances celebrated by inter-faith families are the basis for Las Christmas. Christmas was a springboard to describe experiences common to all people: poverty, alienation, loss of innocence, a child's growing awareness of life's harshness. Mami was on call in Florida "in case we got into trouble" in compiling the recipes, Introduction, xiv-v.

    When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago. Christmas in Puerto Rico is briefly described p.40 and 42; "my family had never had a Christmas tree", p.264; Three Kings Day, pp.42-3; roasted pig, pp.160-2.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.179-80. The German Christmas feast is described on p.184.

C. Superstitions exist in most cultures, often recalled by the family elders.

     When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago: pineapple curdles the blood, p.233; premonitions of death, p.244.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago: Pearls bring tears, p.178; and when her palm is read, Santiago prophetically states, "Why would I want to know what lies ahead?", p.234.

III. Endnotes to Esmeralda's Dream Essay

Full publication credits for endnotes below are contained in Esmeralda's Dream Resources. Highlighted words have a specific connection to Santiago's life and writings.

    1. Las Mamis edited by Santiago and Davidow, p.3. The essays are unique as Latino authors candidly recall their mothers; Santiago's "First Born" is a honest and respectful presentation of Doña Ramona Santiago, pp.2-22.

Santiago's mother, Mami Ramona, is a strong force in all of her works. See below:

When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago provides an intimate study of Mami, who always found the best in things. Macún, "At least we have electricity, p.157; pride, p.216; the skill of sewing, p.105, p.150; no work beneath her, 225; barter, p.159; sacrifices, p.181; returns from New York changed, p.189; makes ultimatum to Papi and leaves, p. 206-8; Papi has care of some of the children, but marries, scattering children among relatives, pp.244-5, New York, in love with her younger neighbor, Francisco, pp.238; Tata doesn't like him, forcing Mami to move again; p.238; Francisco develops cancer, Tata returns, and Franky is born in March, p.224; Mami is both mother and father, works as thread cutter, "Anyone willing to work hard can get ahead," p.245-6; Mami's optimism is a front, p.247; hits social worker, p.250; "you think you speak English...do anything you like," Mami said to Esmeralda and started to hit her. Esmeralda grabbed her mothers wrists; she was never hit again, p.251.

Almost a Woman by Santiago explores Mami in New York. When Mami was in love she sang "boleros" and hummed, just as Santiago wrote that América hummed as she worked, p.32; Papi married, p.30-1 Mami's expectation for her daughters was: marriage, p.34; Mami works for Maidenform bras, pp.76-7, makes garments at home, p.297; meets Don Carlos, p.113-15, 125; Tata embarrasses her, p.115; Mami pregnant and Don Carlos is a married "sinvergüenza,," p.134; Mami's opinion of Ulvi, p.310.

"El hombre que yo amo" first three chapters of a memoir-in-progress by Santiago, "Ploughshares," Mami comes to hospital and frustration comes out, p.161-4.  

"Caught between cultures," a Santiago interview in the "AARP Bulletin." While nursing her son, she realized that when her mother was thirty-two, she had eight children. That day she wrote her first essay about her mother," p.19-20.

    2. When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, p.7

    3. Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.1

    4. "El hombre que yo amo, " a memoir-in-progress by Santiago Ploughshares, p.146

    5. Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.5

    6. "El hombre que yo amo, " a memoir-in-progress by Santiago, Ploughshares, p.149

    7. "Eyewitness," a short story by Santiago, Sojourner: The Women's Forum," p.28

    8. Las Christmas edited by Santiago and Davidow. Essays by Latino authors recall holiday memories, recipes, and poetry. Santiago's essay, "A Baby Doll Like My Cousin Jenny's" tells of the passage toward reality, pp.87-94.

    9. "First Born," by Santiago, Las Mamis, p.5

    10. The Mango Tree was located in the woods behind the Santiago's one room house in Macún.

    "Childhood in a Puerto Rican Barrio," an article by Santiago, Christian Science Monitor, pp.1-3. Her favorite tree was a Mango, which had never born fruit. She talked to it, rubbed its limbs, and hid in it when her parents were angry. When it bore one fruit, she ate it and made the pit into an ornament that she hung on the tree.

     "First Born," Las Mamis by Santiago, p.8

    11. Almost a Woman by Santiago, Macún profoundly shaped Santiago's sensitivity and honesty, where she was one with nature. In New York, her goal was to return to Puerto Rico once she was famous,  p.29, 31, and 38-9.

    "El hombre que yo amo" by memoir-in-progress by Santiago, Ft. Lauderdale reminds her of home, p.154-55.

    Fradin, Dennis Brindell and Fradin, Judith Bloom, From Sea to Shining Sea. Puerto Rico. Glossary, index, mini biographies and thumb nail facts, data, maps, and chronology. Excellent photographs of the mountains, farms, rural homes, and traditional dress, as well as the singing tree frog Coqui.

    Kent, Deborah, América The Beautiful. Puerto Rico . Index and highly illustrated with Facts, 1990 Census, thumb nail guide to geography, nature and topical maps; overview of government and economy, social and cultural life, chronology, sites and landmarks important figures. Illustrations of palm-leaf homes of the rural "jíbaro" and pictures of popular instruments, cuatro, maracas, tipe, and güiro.

    McGuire, Edna, Puerto Rico bridge to freedom. Black and white photographs and maps; Pronunciation Guide; Foreword by Luis Muños Marín, then Governor of Puerto Rico. Excellent history from the Taíno and native migrations from South America and Florida, to the Spanish and American Colonial Periods, to the formation of the Commonwealth and self-government, and contemporary achievements. A perspective of Puerto Rico during Santiago's childhood.

     In América's Dream by Santiago, it was an interesting choice to name Rosalinda's boyfriend: Taino. The Taíno, who followed the Arawak Indians, were the indigenous people of the green island of Boriquén we know as Puerto Rico. They grew crops, including cotton, hunted and fished. There were 40,000 Taínos on the island when Columbus came to the northwest coast.

    12. Awareness of her soul's detachment is described in:

    When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago. See also: p.2; Negi knew ". . . my soul traveled all the time." Papi understood that " . . .it is the soul of a person that writes poetry. . . the part of the person that feels." Described: pp.53-55. When the grandfather of Negi's best friend died, they sprinkled him with "aqua flora" and put wreaths over the body. Negi asked Papi what a soul does when it is alive. Papi answered, it "writes poetry," p.50-53.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago. When Esmeralda was told that she was not right for the part, because she didn't look "Puerto Rican enough, Esmeralda felt " . . . myself leave my body and rise to a corner of the room." Then he reached for her hand and "I was no longer above my head." Described: pp.151-52 and 217; inner self and soul: pp.210, 232-34; when she was homesick and humiliated, p.28-29.

    "Childhood in a Puerto Rican Barrio ," an article by Santiago "Christian Science Monitor" April 5, 1989. Her "spiritual birthplace [was] in the backwaters of Toa Baja [where she] grew up in Barrio Macún." Described: p.1

    13. "Esmeralda Santiago on Writing When I was Puerto Rican" an article by Santiago, Keynote Speaker Website, pp. 1-2. When she returned to Puerto Rico as an adult, she was crushed to find herself caught between two cultures and felt that she was not fully part of either one.

    14. " Childhood in a Puerto Rican Barrio," by Santiago "Christian Science Monitor" , p.3

    15. Santiago's intense love for the graceful Puerto Rico is contrasted against the harsh realities of New York City:

     Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.4. Also, pp. 2, 29-31, 38-39, 74.

     "Childhood in a Puerto Rican Barrio," by Santiago "Christian Science Monitor," p.2

     "El hombre que yo amo " memoir in three chapters by Santiago, Ploughshares, p.154-55.

     "First Born," by Santiago, Las Mamis, p.12-13

      When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago-pp.39, 136-42; 209; love of homeland, p.46-7.

    16.  When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, p.230-232. Esmeralda's curiosity was a strong indicator of her literary instincts to question and role-play. See also p.234; envy: she wondered what their lives were like, p.39, and Detachment, See: ft.2 above. See also: Santiago's first "rejection" as a writer was by Tata who couldn't read her writing, p.158; Santiago used big words to upstage her teacher, p.150; "embarrassed isolation, " p.258; when she told stories to her brothers and sisters it ended that everyone "lived happily ever after," pp.234-6

     Almost a Woman by Santiago-art, p.1 and sister Alma publishes poetry, p. 219.

    17. When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago. Description of Brooklyn schools: "'Don't ever walk down that side of the street,' a classmate told me once. 'It's not our turf," p.253. "It was on these tense walks from school that I decided I had to get out of Brooklyn," p.260. Discrimination, crime, and weapons at school described; Deli owners "didn't like Puerto Ricans in there," pp.224-229, 232, 253, 260; to Esmeralda the "foreigners" were Americanos, p.225; Don Julio beaten up, p.252-3

    Almost a Woman excerpt by Santiago-conformity, p.9; pervert on subway, p.800-81, summer riots, pp.100-02.

      Descriptions of Puerto Rican schools: Esmeralda's teachers in Macún demanded she be respectful and she avoided eye contact with her teachers. She learned that other families lived better that hers. She was often beaten-up in school fights, which were different than the kind she had with her sisters, p.30-31. She completed first grade in Santruce where she was taught to walk to school with her eyes cast down--past traffic, stands, churches, African idols, barred doors, women on balconies, and past the Catholic school she envied: "I knew they were different, or rather, I was different." Rural "jíbaros" were not desirable to city people, pp.37-39. (See also: ft.14)

    18. "Eyewitness ," a short story by Santiago," Sojourner, Sojourner Feminist Institute, " January 31, 1988, p.28. Each gang wore its own brand of sneakers. Luisito wore Adidas, but they did not make him invincible. When he fell from the roof and died, his friend Maria never wore her Adidas again.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago-fear, p.5; conformity, p.9; gangs, pp.49-51, 64, 880-81; riots of 1964, pp.100-1; New York blackout, p.137; Vietnam, p.161.

     When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, crime at school, pp. 229, 260 and turfs, pp.229, 253-260; .

    19.  When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, p.260. South of Toa Baja, the Santiago Macún farm was small. Neither of her parents knew anything about farming and relied at first on the food growing naturally: plantains, bananas, sweet potatoes, avocados, mangos, pigeon peas, and lemons.

     The land was abundant with flowering trees and plants: hibiscus, sensitive plants (moriviví), blue flowered French week, Ceiba and Flamboyán trees, and pink pomarrosa. It was a feast for termites, which she encountered and was badly bitten.

    The hills facing the house were filled with snakes. When a second house was built it had a high threshold was made to keep the snakes out.

     Their one-room house was built on stilts and had no electricity, forcing them to use gas lamps and candles. The roof of the house was made of rippled metal (zinc), which was noisy when it rained and you could burn your fingers if you touched it during the day.

    The bathroom was a latrine. The floor in the house was red clay dirt and there were holes where scorpions and snakes had bored; Papi put uneven boards down so Mami could sew and the parents would have a bed.

    The children slept in hammocks at night, where they would listen to the bees and snakes, and the rising shrill song of the tree frog Coquis. Later, Papi would build a cinder block house with a cement roof. A pipe ran from the cistern to the house, providing bath water.

    Mami and the children left Papi briefly for Santruce, where they lived over the black lagoon waters with only a hole in the floor for a toilet. Condensed from Santiago's works: "Childhood in a Puerto Rican Barrio," "Christian Science Monitor," pp.1-3; "Esmeralda Santiago on "Writing when I was Puerto Rican," Keynote Speaker Website, pp.1-2; When I Was Puerto Rican, pp.7-11 and 48.

    20. Long northern winters confined the family to their overcrowded urban apartment, with little to do and, for some, fall into the habit of drinking too much as they watched TV. Alcohol abuse is often mentioned in Santiago's works.

      When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, p.49, 224

     Las Mamis edited by Santiago and Davidow, p.12-13

     "When Mami Left, I Didn't," a short story by Santiago, " Sojourner: The Women's Forum," p.2

    21. In Puerto Rico citizens are considered as one and are not profiled by race or religion as they are on the mainland. It was perplexing to Esmeralda to see neighborhood designated to a specific group of people.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago-Hispanic, was anyone who speaks Spanish. "I'd always been Puerto Rican, and it hadn't occurred to me that in Brooklyn I'd be someone else, pp.4-5; Ricky Ricardo, pp.34, 47; African, pp.56-7; the Jewish market, pp.222-24; profiled as an artist,pp.69, 71-74, 88; 105-6, 127-34; 143-45; Children's Theater, pp.2288--242, 229, 234; stereotyped at work, pp.169, 240-42; 224-6; by police, pp. 112-13; West Side Story, pp.120-21; language problems pp. 8, 84, 21, 116-18; Yiddish Theater, pp.106-110; Up the Down Staircase , pp.146, 154-9.

     "Bilingual Dreamer" an article by Santiago, "Christian Science Monitor," August 20, 1987. People who are monolingual "...never have to stop in the middle of a sentence to search through a world of cultural and linguistic expressions that will voice their feelings," p.2.

      When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago-Morenos, the blacks, were not like Puerto Rican Blacks, "they think we're taking their jobs," p.225; Jewish, p.223-25; School, p.229.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago, excerpt, p.8 and 84

    22. The bravery of leaving home and the first impression of New York is described :

    América's Dream by Santiago, p.154 and "What am I doing here?" p.127, 131;

     Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.4-5, 13, 26; vermin pp.21-22,

      When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, pp.213, 215-18, 224, 232; reality of New York, p.220.

     Las Mamis edited by Santiago and Davidow. Puerto Rican author Piri Thomas describes his mother's arrival in "Nueva Yawk," p.65.

     Mami moved her family as often as five times in one year, trying to make ends meet. See: Family section at top of Endnotes.

    23. DOVE, Domestic Violence Ended, was formed in Quincy, MA, located on the South Shore of Boston. Santiago wrote funding proposals and was on the founding board. "DOVE was started by several women." Telephone conversation with Esmeralda Santiago, November 27, 2000.

    Abuse is the primary theme of América's Dream by Santiago. Santiago honesty becomes graphic in her descriptions of Correa's abuse and, lacking any self esteem, América's acceptance. Santiago juxtaposes América's escape to over images of nannies she met in the park where her own children played in Westchester, New York.

     "When Mami Left, I Didn't," a short story by Santiago, "Sojourner: The Women's Forum," March 31, 1990, p.15; e-mail, p.2. "Mami was 45 when she decided to become a nurse." She met with groups of women in her home, to the disapproval of her husband. She infuriated him further by returning to her maiden name, Sara Ortiz. When she asked him for a divorce, he beat her. "I'm tired of being a prisoner in my own home." Like the character Rosalinda in América's Dream by Santiago, Ana chose to stay with her father when her mother left. But when her mother returned, she was beautiful. Ana was embarrassed to look at her and "kept my head down." This time Ana left with her. "But I also want to love myself. It's hard. Puerto Rican women are supposed to be so selfless. Mami says you have to respect yourself first, then your relationships will be richer and fuller. . .What will happen if I ever want to marry? Will there be a man who agree with that?" Like Santiago's description of herself, her characters in shyness or fear lower their eyes and keep their head down to avoid confrontation.

     América's Dream by Santiago: abuse, p.85-6, 127; rape, p.118-121; beatings, p.88-92.

     Las Mamis by Santiago: punishment of children. It was not unusual for parents to threaten "una plea," punishment with a nubby guava switch or a stiff leather belt. "In spite of the many "pleas" I endured, I don't think of myself as a battered child," p.5.

     "El hombre que yo amo" a memoir-in-progress by Santiago, Ploughshares: "She bristled with anger, and I was afraid she would lift her hand and hit me in front of my lover," p.161; "She slapped me," p.163.

    "Childhood in a Puerto Rican Barrio" by Santiago, "Christian Science Monitor," Mami would escape with her children from the poverty in Macún, only to be lured back by Papi Pablo. "He would visit us every evening, have dinner with us, and quietly talk my mother into coming back to Macún," p.2.

    24.  When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, p.115

    25. In América's Dream by Santiago América impressed the guests of the motel where she worked on the Island of Vieques. When they asked her to come to New York to work for them, she accepted. She became their housekeeper and nanny. Their home was located in Westchester, New York near Mt. Kisco. Santiago's present home is in residential Westchester County, located north of metropolitan New York City. The book was inspired by the nannies in the park where Santiago took her children to play.

     In Almost a Woman by Santiago, the Children's Theatre tour took the actors to Westchester Country, where Esmeralda appeared, p.238.

     "Caught between cultures ," an article about Santiago by Baker, "AARP Bulletin.". "Santiago drew on the stories of nannies she met in the park where her children played." The experience of living in the States changed the nannies over the years. "They're much more expressive of their feelings and of themselves. It's a different kind of freedom," p.20.

    26. América's Dream by Santiago, p.85

    27. América's Dream by Santiago, p.154

    28.  When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, p.261.

    29. Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.93. Boyfriends-Neftalí, p. 159-63, 166-67, and 200-1; proposal 162; encounters, pp.147-8; pill, pp.156-7, 160; Sidney, Jewish boyfriend, pp.172-178; Otto, German lover, pp. 178, 181-191; Mami checks up on her, p.187-8; Otto leaves for Switzerland, p.194; Andy, just friends,p.197; Allan, p.229, 232; Shanti, p.219-226; Texan Avery Lee, P.244-249; Jurgen, whom she expected to marry until she learns he is an international thief, 249-266; Ulvi becomes the dominant figure in her life, pp.267-311; Girlfriends, Yolanda, p.15; no friends, p.27; Adult girl friends-Regina, p.170; Shoshana, p. 192, Ilsa, p.89-91.

      When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, childhood friends are described. Juanita Maríns was her "best friend in Macún" and lived past Doña Lola's house. Negi had lived in Santruce and could tell her friend stories of the city, but Juanita knew secret places, caves, and short cuts in the woods, p.49-50; New York girlfriend, Junior High School #33, p.258.

      "El hombre que yo amo," Ploughshares, memoir devoted entirely to her relationship with Ulvi, pp.146-166.

    30. Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.29. See also: "algos," the bad things that can happen to a girl, p.5; sex, pp.14, 24-25, 63; peer pressure, pp.28-29; models for behavior, Mami sees opinion as disrespect, p56, Archie Comics, p.26-8; Graham Avenue school, pp.225-228; not allowed to date, p.89; fantasy of men, p.93-9, rich 148.

    When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago-peer pressure, pp. 229; puberty, pp.233; sex, pp.239-40; discrimination, types of Puerto Ricans, pp.228-30; teacher, pp.226-7. (See also: Resources, "Adolescence: immigrants and peers)

    31. Santiago's intellectual and artistic abilities were first recognized and nurtured when she entered the Performing Arts High School,, located in the Manhattan Borough of New York City, in the area of the Empire State Building, 34th and Broadway.

     Almost a Woman by Santiago. Mr. Barone's recommendation and family compares her to Ricky Ricardo, p.34-35; felt good being fussed over by teachers, p.36; teased by siblings and gangs at school-"you think you're better" and "Hey, Spick. . . she thinks she's white," p.37; audition anxiety, p.40; acceptance was a feeling "too good to be true and would disappear," pp.45-46; Mami accuses her of wanting to be white, pp.57-8; dress code, p.64; prepare for the real world and ten years to be recognized, p.65-66; in dance her body moved as in Puerto Rico, "free, open to possibilities, unafraid," pp.67; race not important, only status was "talent," p.68; acting, pp.70-2; typecast as Egyptian, p.72, 105; make-up class, p.81; description of women, p.83; voice class, p.84-5; expensive supplies, but Mami did not complain, p.86; Hebrew Theater, 106-110; Manhattan, p.111; Junior Year, dance and Yiddish Theater, pp.116-117; Summer job, told she looked like "Mareer" in West Side Story , pp.120-22; Senior Year, Shakespeare play, p.127, 141-5; dancer, Classical Indian, pp.128, 131, "Savage and Beautiful," 132-4; First time in an American home, p.129, Mami think disrespectful, pp.142-45; dancing for fun, upper west side, pp.93, 98-99, Tito Puente, pp.96-98; movie extra, Up the Down Staircase, "the other girl looks more Puerto Rican," pp.149-152; soul leaves body, p.151; typecast, pp.158-9; filming 154-55, 207; Papi dark skinned, "not-too-distant African ancestor," p.55; graduation, first in family to graduate from high school, pp.152-3, Papi doesn't come, p.146.

      When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago. Esmeralda wants to be on TV, pp.258-60; audition was "The Silver cord," by Sidney Howard, pronounced words right, pp.261-66; Mami allows make-up saying, "You'll be exposed to a different class of people," pp.262-63; fear she'll never leave Brooklyn if she fails, p.266; After leaving PAHS, she received a scholarship to Harvard University in Boston, pp.269-70. (See also: Resources: I Love Nuyorca: Brooklyn and Manhattan, Maps and Guides)

    Almost a Woman by Santiago, p.306, Ulvi never called her by her name, but renamed her" Chiquita," p.273; "You are such a naïve girl, p.276; Ulvi "didn't want to involve me in his life," p.281; dinner in nice restaurants with strange men, p.283; avoid the hot-tomato label, p.287; Ulvi cooks, p.293; "If you are going to be with me, you must learn," p.305; takes her to places she's been with other men, p.308; going to Ft. Lauderdale, pp.309; won't marry her, p.310-11.

     "El hombre que yo amo," by Santiago, a third memoir excerpt in Ploughshares, tells of life with Ulvi, pp.146-166. "Make us something to eat," but the kitchen and cupboards had only American food, pp.151, 156; shyness, p.154; eating in a restaurant European style, pp.152-3; language, p.146-8; "I will teach you everything," p.149; "You are poor and naïve. But I like you are young and innocent. I can teach you everything," p.151.

    Turkish filmmaker, Ulvi Dogan (a fictitious name used by Santiago) was in the United States promoting his film Dry Summer when he met Santiago. "Are you a model? . . . I'm a filmmaker, " p.276, described fully in Almost a Woman by Santiago, pp. 276-311; elope-Ulvi to Florida, p.267-77, "You must leave her [Mami], then, p.309, "No, we cannot get married," p.310; "If Ulvi left," p.310.

    See also: Resources, That's A Wrap: "Film Producers' Period (1950-70)," Republic of Turkey. Includes information for "Dry Summer " by filmmaker Metin Erksan.

    32. "El hombre que yo amo" a memoir-in-progress by Santiago,, p.146-8. "Ulvi was not the reason I had left my family. I'd been leaving for a long time. He just provided the opportunity," p.162-4.

     "Caught between cultures, " article by Santiago in AARP Bulletin, "This is a place where you can reinvent yourself. I don't know that you can do that anywhere else," p.19.

     Las Mamis edited by Santiago and Davidow. Trapped in an unhappy relationship. I was ashamed to seek what I needed most--my mother's protective bosom," p.16.

    "When Mami Left I Didn't ," short story by Santiago in "Sojourners: The Feminist Forum,"

    e-mail. "I had never thought of my mother as a person," p.2.

      When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago, Mami didn't want her children to follow in her footsteps: "I'm not working this hard so that you kids can end up working in factories all your lives. You study, get good grades, and graduate from high school so that you can have a profession, not just a job," p.246.

    33. Las Mamis edited by Santiago and Davidow, "It's exhausting being her child," p.21, 28.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago, "...there would never be another Mami," p.310. See also: Resources: "Adult Relationships and Mothers"--Berg's "Real Mothers...and how to discover yours" and Dano's "A mother's best lesson."

    34. " When Mami Left, I Didn't," short story by Santiago, "Sojourner, The Women's Forum," p.4.

    35. With the Jones Act of 1917, Puerto Ricans became American citizens. Despite the Foraker Act limiting corporate holdings to 500 acres, there were abuses, forcing the "jibaros" to move to urban areas where they lived in shacks, like Doña Ramona Santiago's family in Santruce.

     Hurricanes, such as the one in 1928, destroyed all of the island's crops, but the people rebounded each time. During the Depression that followed the next year, food was shipped to the island and subsequently Operation Bootstrap developed public housing, cheaper utilities, better health care and schools.

     The true strength of Puerto Rico, as their appointed governor Teddy Roosevelt said, is that Puerto Ricans are generous and united in their love of their homeland. Bridge to Freedom by McGuire, pp.48-124. See also. Sea to Shining Sea, by Fradin and Fradin, p.18-23.

     When Mami Ramona moved to New York, it was difficult to find a job and humiliating to ask for Welfare assistance.

    Almost a Woman by Santiago, p. 18-21, 44-45; when Francisco died, although Mami was not married to him, but because she bore his child, she qualified for a Social Security allotment and therefore her AFDC was reduced, pp.54-60; the social worker tell Mami that Esmeralda was old enough to be working, p.104; the social worker found Mami's house unkempt, she was "the first American to see way we lived," pp.135-7.

     When I Was Puerto Rican by Santiago. When Mami was laid off from her job, she dressed nicely to go to the Welfare office, but the woman was rude and Mami punched her, pp.248-50.